Today I found myself choking up while eating a tomato.

Not literally choking, and not sobbing, but I was crying.

I cry because I was eating a plant straight from a garden, and I know the person well who had planted it. It made me smile, then laugh a little, and a bit of crying. It was a beautiful moment of bliss.

I used to have those moments all the time. In high school I was unapolagetically myself and knew it. I knew what I loved and who I was at that moment. I wasn’t worried about who I was going to try to be in the future. This put me in deep connection with my roots and the environment around me.

I was in a nurturing environment. I had supportive teachers and parents. I was growing like a weed and so was my brain! My friends made fun of me for being over dramatic and I was sort of embarrassed by that connection to myself, unable to express how I felt.

When college came, I was crying because of the course load but also because I loved what I learned. I chose my area of study based on passion and interest and found myself in awe of it all more often than not. I lost myself in my studies and focused on it then was in complete shock once I began to wonder who I should be after graduation. plants

For a while, the thankful tears came at music festivals and during yoga classes. I couldn’t find them in the daily routines in life anymore and this worried me. Deep down, I think I knew I was losing myself at times.

Beauty in nature always grounds me, time and time again. After college, I moved to the most beautiful place in the United States and began to find myself again. Thankfully, I have committed to this quest since.

I came back to life while still fighting what I thought the social norms were of finding some grand old high paying job that you expect after college. After 2 years I am back to that child in high school, growing my brain and connecting to myself.

Graciousness flows and pours out of me as I embrace the arts, poetry, more writing. I can find that inner wild girl and love her fully. This journey brings tears to my eyes almost daily and I am happy to give myself the gift of release and tears.

It’s okay to cry. It’s a beautiful thing.

Find peace and you’ll accept all the quirks and form great new habits.

Love

 

 

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