Here you’ll read about my personal quest for a healthy relationship with my food and myself.

always knew this, deep down. Not only can it be hard to see that beauty but to eat in that manner was always difficult.

I maintained a healthy weight by eating relatively well, mostly fruits and vegetables. Oh, but have I always had a major sweet tooth. Growing up it was chocolate milk and chewy bars which were chocolate covered protein peanut butter bars. I also eat a few on the beauty betrayer list.

As I began to grow in years I started to drink alcohol. Now I am ready to begin my fight with the damage that those empty calories caused through my college years.

I never have been a calorie counter and never will be. I have always been alert to the negative health benefits of those pesky unhealthy foods made in factories and by chemicals.

Rather than cover up my blemishes from eating and hiding that inner tube or muffin top around my waist, I made a choice to change my lifestyle.

Oh, I would make that choice every week, start out strong and end with pizza..

This time, I knew I needed to fight for my body, my mind.

I was a vegetarian for 6 years and never felt better than in that time. In the past few years I let those habits get away from me and though I’m not quite ready to go back to that lifestyle I would like to make serious changes in my diet in other ways in the meantime.

Action Ahimsa means peaceful actions and is my desired way of life. Through embracing my passions I hope to lead others to a peaceful and fulfilled life. 

Alas, it starts on the inside to prepare to make those outside

This is my journey.

I am learning about food and hope to share some insight with you via the books I read and my reflections on my own quest.

In December of 2016, mentally I was pooped. Physically I was feeling strong after living in Colorado for 2 years which involved lots of hikes and relatively cleaner eating. I went back to Pittsburgh for a family visit.

I ate, and ate, and ate.. reaching my peak weight ever at 150. I usually stayed at 140 regardless of the exercise or eating I did. While being home I reflected on one visit home in college around that time where I drank, and drank, and drank…

Being home and remembering the assaults on my body put me in a perfect spot to become more mindful. I took baby steps. I had been trying to eliminate alcohol from my life for a long time and I was finally ready. In February 2017 I gave it up all together.

Working at breweries and bars a lot of my adult life led to a sizable enjoyment in casual and social drinking. I loved an after work beer or late night wine and netflix series. But I’ve been totally sober for over a month and cravings soon led back to chocolate.

Now, keep in mind I was reading Roald Dahl’s Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory around the end of February. With my eyes glazing over descriptions of magical candies, lollies, gum, and that chocolate fountain egged me on. I bought ice cream and covered it with hershey’s chocolate syrup and when the ice cream ran out I would dip fruits in the chocolate to make it seem more acceptable. It felt like 3 steps forward 2 steps back at that point.

Then on the phone with my mother, as she told me about her Fat Tuesday experience, eating any meat product she could, she asked me what I was giving up for lent. I find it interesting that the human nature can act like it’s on survival mode if you let it. Like if you don’t eat all you can now and as much as possible, you might not get it later.

Nevertheless, I decided to give up chocolate. Thus finding the excuse to eat two more large chocolate bars filled with jelly. They were the closest thing to a Wonka Bar I could see in the stores and though it did taste amazing it always left me feeling really awful. My stomach churned, I still would be hungry for more, and I even felt like I smelled a little different. health

I’ve been in tune with my body on different spectrums for a long time. This set me completely out of whack. I found that one tendency, turned on another one and I was determined not to let the domino effect, affect me!

So for the past week I have been eating pretty much raw vegetabl
es and fruits. This has always been my favorite lifestyle and it’s easy for me to appreciate as soon as I begin to munch on a sweet apple or take a bit from my avocado vegetable wrap. I was feeling really good.

Then I was invited to pizza and suddenly all my inhibitions were out the window, or floating off in space.

Last night I ate 3 slices of pizza!

It’s always the case for me that I thoroughly enjoy the process of eating that cheat meal but immediately after I suffer the effects. My metabolism slows, I feel bloated but still hungry, my face breaks out, and even this time I woke up a lot in my sleep. Then there’s that guilt of the meal which for me happens less than it used to as I go easier on myself mentally but still have really high expectations to not eat the damn cheats!

Seemingly, my life is a series of paradoxes ^ but by reading Eat Pretty I can re-learn the details about food science and remind myself why certain fruits and vegetables are good and how they help the body. This understanding is allowing me to embrace clean eating while letting those betraying foods go, that may taste nice at the time but do nothing nice to your body.

As a yoga instructor, I put a lot of pressure on myself to practice what I preach. Kindness to myself but also to my body.

As my practice time increases, I find bliss in the simple things again. Yet I am still working on embracing other forms of working out aside from my go to of yoga.

I hope to inspire while gaining insight in my journey. Our journey. To a lifestyle of freedom and peace of mind, body, soul.

Please share your comments here or on Facebook, or email me at I wish to start a support group in healthy lifestyles.. kinda the point of this whole website I’m in the process of making as well as the Facebook group.


2 thoughts on “Beauty in, beauty out

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